I Hate the Watch Designers of the World

After looking on the Internet for it, I realized that the medium isn’t ready for watch shopping yet. I can’t tell the size of the watch from the tiny thumbnails that they provide. Las Vegas sports much more shopping opportunities than I have in Salt Lake City, so I was hopeful for the Labor Day weekend. Maybe I would find my watch.

Here is what I want:

  • A beautiful watch
  • Women’s watch
  • Digital
  • Metal case and band
  • Time and Date on the display at the same time
  • Stopwatch
  • Countdown Timer
  • Light
  • I would also like Dual Time, but I’m willing to give that up

I want a watch that is pretty, feminine and useful. Those sparkly watch hands on my Citizen EcoDrive are pretty, but they don’t tell me much information. I want more from my wrist-top computer. I want it to be useful AND good looking, and I’m willing to drop a lot of money on this purchase.

That’s why I was hopeful for Las Vegas. They have so many luxury and designer stores there. I was sure that TAG Heuer or Tissot would have what I was looking for. I just needed to find it.

After looking at every watch store in the Las Vegas area, we came up worse than empty. I was crabby with so many of the clerks, but the snooty lady at the biggest watch shop was the only one who deserved it.

“I don’t think this Nike looks good enough to be a dress watch.” I said reluctantly. It was only $80 and I could have bought it for fun, but it wasn’t any better than the $7 watch on my wrist.

I saw the clerk roll her eyes. She said in a thick accent, which I suspected was fake, “If you want a nice dress watch, you won’t find it in digital. Buy a Citizen.”

“I have a Citizen. It takes me an extra five seconds to tell time with it. I want digital with a nice metal band.”

“What you want is too big for a women’s watch.”

“This watch is digital and it’s small.” I held up the $7 Armitron. It has all the functions that I want. It’s just ugly. It looks like a sport watch. “If they just put the innards of this into a nice watch, then I would have what I want.”

“If you want a dress watch, you need to buy a nice brand. I have one with a stopwatch.”

“You do? It’s a digital?”

“No, it’s not a digital. It’s an analog stopwatch.”

I didn’t say anything else. I realized that the woman is used to selling watches to fat old women who are more interested in how many diamonds are on the face. It’s a shame, too. I was willing to drop a load if I could only find what I wanted. I’ll probably end up buying a Suunto. If it has to be ugly at least it can tell me the temperature and predict the weather.

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